Friday, August 7, 2015

Brooding...


Moving is chaotic.  Our home of sixteen years doesn't feel like ours anymore with most everything that made it unique to us packed in boxes that we have to weave our way around like a rat manipulating its way through a maze.  A new owner waits for the day she signs her name to the final documents and gets the keys to this home that used to be ours.  The home we're buying sits empty, waiting to be filled with life and living and love, but it's not officially ours yet, either.  We're in limbo, living in chaos and mess. Financial documents have been delivered to the appropriate parties to affirm that we are, indeed, responsible home buyers.  Inspectors have crawled through the attics and underbellies of both homes,  revealing every flaw they can find to avoid unpleasant surprises about what we're buying.  Appraisals are getting scheduled.  Closing dates dangle temptingly in front of us, like the proverbial carrot on the end of a stick.

I think about our new to us home.  I think about what it will look like with the new wood floors we hope to put in, some different light fixtures, some paint.  Mostly though, I think about this fall and imagine us all moved in, my favorite red soup pot simmering on the stove with something delicious inside, family and friends gathered round the kitchen and family room.  I think about the life we'll live there, the loving that will take place in those walls.

I don't do chaos well.  I'm a person who thrives on peace, on neatness, on order.  In this messy season, I've had to cling hard to the peace of God, had to lean on Him  to keep myself from flinging my frustration out on any and all innocent victims within range of my verbal assault.  After the inspection on our future home, I went to bed that night thinking maybe we had made a huge mistake.  Though everyone who looked at the report assured me there was nothing unusual or horrible on it, seeing thirty pages of every little thing you could think of that is flawed with this place you are investing all of your hard won equity into was daunting.  And did I mention that my husband happens to be half a world away on a long planned trip to Ghana, West Africa?  Yes, we had no idea that all of this would happen simultaneously when he scheduled the trip.  Maybe it's for the best, so he doesn't have to put up with my occasional freaking out episodes.  Well, there have been some panicky texts and calls back and forth, truth be told.  This is a lot to cope with solo.

God's great grace has been evident as well, though.  The morning after the house inspection, I woke up with a shift in perspective, with an unexplainable peace.  Last night, at our church's weekly prayer meeting, praise erupted like a fountain, out of the depths of my spirit, bypassing my tumultuous emotions and my mind filled with lists of things needing to be done.  I've sensed the Spirit hovering, brooding, over the stormy chaos of my life.  Like a mother hen, sitting on her eggs, brooding, waiting for new life to spring forth,  I sense the Spirit whispering, "Behold, I am doing a new thing!", and I know in the depths of my being that it is so much more than a new location.  He's positioning me for something I can't see yet, but I sense it there past the horizon, and I know it's going to be good.

still following,




Scripture and Snapshot


SUNDAY STILLNESS


Also happily linking up with the lovely Lisha Epperson 



19 comments:

  1. You have been on my heart and in my prayers SO much these days, dear friend. I wish I could just stop by, knock on your door and give you a big hug and tell you it's all going to work out. Yesterday all I could think about was your new kitchen. I bet it's bigger than your tiny kitchen you've made so cozy all these years. I really believe is about to do something so fantastic that you will be amazed! Hang in there - He's working out all the details. I remember the times we've been where you are - the panic, the frustration, the mess. And, in the end, I learned that He had it all under control!
    ~Adrienne~

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    1. It's a nice size open kitchen! I'm excited about that!

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  2. so grateful for your sense of peace.

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  3. Praying for peace for you in this stormy chaos--

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  4. This must be an emotionally trying time. I would like to have a new home and an new place to discover on the one hand, but on the other, leaving the old with all the memories behind would be torture. You certainly seem to be well grounded thought this.

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    1. It definitely is bittersweet, Rebecca.

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  5. Thank you for sharing. Trust the Lord for the consequences with/for you where you'll live. You may be touching hearts right by your house...that's why the Lord put us where we are. Prayer walking in the area, worshiping the Lord where/when it is obvious to see other gods being focused on and lifting our Heavenly Father higher so people's area can be adjusted. Anyhow, you are a blessing now and forever. Thanks for sharing.

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    1. Thank you for always encouraging me, Joanne.

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    2. Thank you! A blessing to hear from you, Elizabeth.

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  6. Dear Elizabeth,
    How did you know everything you've written about is on my shoulders also? I have to move. Leave my home of 14 years and my state of birth. California has just priced me out. I am close to retirement and my job has had so many cutbacks on hours. I see no other way. This is a difficult mountain I must climb solo also. With lots of prayer the Lord has showed me where I am to go. This I feel for sure....now I got to get going!!!! Put the house on now or hang in there till spring? Ohhhh, so many things to do.....steps to take.
    You cannot know how much your telling of your feelings and where your at in your journey means to me and others too. Thank you!!!
    Will be praying for your peace upon every step to the finish line.
    Addie

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    1. Oh Addie, my thoughts and prayers are with you. I pray that God will take you by the hand and very clearly lead you in the way you should go.

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  7. Elizabeth, change is never easy. I am so glad that God is giving you His peace & assurance. May your move & transition go smoothly. Blessings!

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  8. God's steadfast love does bring peace even in chaos. I'm praying now for continued peace through your move. Thank you for continuing to bless me with your words as you echo God's promises to us.

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  9. I chose the same verse. It is in a stained glass window in the little village church I go to. I live on a tiny island and when I see this verse I think of it not as chaotic but in calming. We can have many damaging storms here and I love to see this comforting verse in the church. Good luck with your moving. I did that 3 times in one year at one point but am settled now.

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  10. Behold I am doing a new thing! I am glad for the peace that you are feeling and this is something that I have been experiencing in my life too. I will be praying for you as you make the physical transition as well as the emotional one. Blessings!

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