Sometimes I get stubbornly self sufficient. I don't say the words, "I need you", easily to anyone but God. I'm kind of an "I'll do it myself" gal. Mama was like that. In her sixties the neighbors caught her up on the roof of her house trying to fix something herself. In her seventies, after the fact she admitted to me that she had climbed down in the crawl space under her house to deal with a clogged dryer hose. I told her that maybe that wasn't such a good idea, seeing as no one knew she was under there and since she lived alone, what if something had happened to her under there? While I've not been up on any roofs or under any houses lately, I can be just as stubborn about refusing help in other areas.
Saturday, some of the ladies from our church drove to the beach for the day. The weather was gray and drizzle-y, but any day by the sea is a good day in my opinion. We carpooled there in various cars, all of us stopping to have brunch together at a favorite restaurant on the way. Once we got to the beach, the ladies formed unstructured groups. Everyone was free to do as they pleased, stroll on the beach, browse in the shops or even to just sit and sip coffee and chat. I walked a bit on the beach with one gal, gathered a few more ladies along the way in the shops, and a group of five of us ended up renting a pedal driven buggy, having a seafood supper together, then, eventually, riding home together. The day was filled with friendship and laughter. While I have been readily accepting of help with packing boxes and other things related to our move, I realize that I'm not one who likes to admit I need something more, something deeper. I need friendship and laughter and heart sharing. Yet it seems so vulnerable to ask for that, to admit that life as a pastor's wife can be lonely, and that sometimes you need to just shed your role and be allowed to be one of the gang instead of some sort of "other". The weather may have been gray yesterday, but the fellowship was colorful, bright and beautiful. It was exactly what I needed. I admit it, and I'm so thankful.
Since 2009 I've been counting my blessings thanks to the prompting of Ann Voskamp.
I continue to count my thanks
piling up gratitude day by day
in my little green journal.
(and capturing some of my blessings via my camera or iPhone)
-a sweet homemade card in the mail
-help getting my home office packed up
-a refreshing walk after a full day
-starting the book of Proverbs
-many hands making the work of packing so much lighter
-help with some electrical repairs
-my oldest grandson spending the night
-my handyman son-in-law coming with me to meet with the inspector at our new house
-going to opening night of the Broadway production of Wicked here in Portland with my daughters,
(a gift for my birthday)
-waking up with peace after being stressed yesterday about the move
-my nephew's help
-a son-in-the-Lord's help
-getting a dreaded list of to-dos done
-a really good prayer time at church
-more packing help
-so much good stuff in the book of Proverbs
-the hub's texting me from Ghana that home is wherever I am
-a fun day at the beach with the ladies from our church
-so much laughter
-renting a buggy and pedaling and laughing our way around town
-taking my friend to see our new house on the ride home
-a friend's help to meet a goal
-the powerful Holy Spirit
-God speaking to our church, "you can do this"
-God working in us
-video of our granddaughter singing at the church in Kumasi, Ghana
-spending the afternoon catching up on my Bible reading and journaling