Cleaning house and heart...

When we moved four months ago, I thought that I had relentlessly given away a ridiculous amount of stuff.  We made trip after trip after trip to the Goodwill, dropping off a car full of things I used to treasure each time.  Yet, when we finally closed on the purchase of our new to us house and I began to unpack, I surprisingly found more stuff to get rid of.  A shelving unit that used to fit in the entry of our former home didn't look right in this house. Old nightstands were no longer needed in our new bedroom.  And what was I thinking keeping sweaters that I haven't worn in years?  Did I really want to keep those stilettos? They may still be cute and fashionable, but gosh, they sure aren't comfortable.

On a recent trip to Costo, I picked up Marie Kondo's book, The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up.  I still haven't read all of it, but in leafing through it, I saw that one of her criteria for keeping something is, "does it still give you joy?".  After reading that sentence, I realized that I was keeping some things that, in actuality, brought me pain. While some of the objects were lovely things that I liked, they were gifts from someone who is no longer in my life, someone who left my life in a painful way.  So, I made my way to the thrift store one more time, and this time I let go of a lot more than just some physical junk.

What Marie Kondo's book is to tidying up your home, Priscilla Shirer's book, Fervent, has been to the cleaning up of my heart.  I'm not just leafing through this one.  I'm reading, underlining, praying, then going back and rereading and praying some more.  Yesterday, my whole prayer time was spent praying through the chapter on "Your Hurts-Turning Bitterness to Forgiveness".  In our church,  I do a whole lot of ministry in the area of counseling and inner healing. I've got a lot of experience helping others work through forgiving and letting go of bitterness.  In my housekeeping, I do a deep cleaning and purge before the holidays and again in the spring. Similarly, I'm pretty good at doing regular soul maintenance. Yet, our move revealed that in spite of my bi-annual cleanings, I still had too much junk.  Then, Marie Kondo's book revealed a whole new layer of things I needed to get rid of.  Likewise, this move into 2016, the year God gave me the word LISTEN as my word for the year, He has been speaking to me and showing me that there's still stuff in my heart to get rid of, a whole new layer of junk. Both Marie's book on physical house cleaning and the spiritual house cleaning Priscilla mentions in her book, indicate that you have to be willing to be ruthless and relentless in getting rid of the junk.  I'm willing and ready to do just that, both in my home and in my heart. 

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When the best answer is a good question...

Our granddaughter, my oldest daughter's oldest daughter, is a deep thinker.  She's extremely smart, very curious, and always wants to understand how things work and why things are the way they are. On a recent occasion my oldest daughter needed someone to watch our two granddaughters for a couple of hours.  I was out of town, so my husband volunteered.  At one point while they were under his care, Papa corrected the older of the two girls about something and told her that she needed to obey.  As seriously as she could, she asked him, "Why? Mama and Daddy say that I have to obey, too, but I really just don't understand why?" In conveying to me this incident, my husband explained that her attitude wasn't rebellious or sassy, but seemed to him to be a question asked from a sincere desire to understand just why obedience was so dog gone important!

When our children ask us why, it's at that point that many of us, including yours truly, have answered that question with the standard answer of, "because I said so!" I actually think that response can be an appropriate one, but only after the child is old enough to really understand why obedience is necessary.  I remember trying to explain why obedience to mom and dad was important when my own daughters were small.  I think I said something about God wanting them to learn to listen to and obey mom and dad when they were young so they would know how to listen to and obey God as they got older.  I think that is true, but it may be a bit incomplete.  Maybe to build better understanding the best answer to my daughters was a few good questions.  "Do you know that mama and daddy love you?"  "Do you know that we want what is best for you?"  "Do you know that we want to keep you safe?" "Do you understand why we want to teach you to respect others and how to treat them?"  Hopefully, they would answer those questions in the affirmative.  If so,  I would follow up with, "because all of those things are true, you can trust Mama and Daddy that when we are asking you to obey it's for your well being, even if you might not think so, even if you might not understand."  

In one of my favorite books, "Intimate Friendship with God", author Joy Dawson explains that God promises intimate friendship with Himself to those who reverentially fear Him.  She goes on to write that reverential fear of God is evidenced by how quickly we obey Him and if we do so wholeheartedly.  I agree, but I rarely see this level of obedience in anyone who isn't unshakably confident in God's love for them, in His desire to do what is ultimately for their best, and in His trustworthiness.  When we are confident of God's good leadership in our lives, our swift, wholehearted obedience follows.

When it comes to parenting, no matter how hard we try, our leadership is not perfect.  That's another time when the best response to the situation just may be a good question.  "I'm sorry.  I was wrong.  Will you forgive me?"  We can go on and use that as a teachable moment to admit to our children that even human parents who love their children wholeheartedly, who sincerely want what is best for them, will at times blow it.  However, God is a perfect Father who can be trusted to always do the right thing.  Even though we don't parent perfectly, training our children to obey us swiftly and with a good attitude is entry level discipleship as we are teaching them obedience to Father God.  If we've communicated clearly our loving motives behind our expectation of obedience when they are little, they should have a clear enough understanding of the answer to the question of "Why should I obey?" that the statement response, "because I said so!" is a four word sentence that they know really means:

• because I love you
• because I want what is best for you
• because I want to keep you safe
• because I want you to respect and treat others appropriately
• because I want you to learn to obey God swiftly and whole heartedly

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and THE HIGH CALLING

Savor by Shauna Niequist, a giveaway...

If you've read any of Shauna Niequist's books,

Bread and Wine,

Cold Tangerines,

and

Bittersweet,

then you have probably been anticipating her new devotional book, Savor.

In Savor, Shauna shares a daily scripture, some of her thoughts, 

and then ends each day's entry with something to pray and think about.

She has also included some of her favorite recipes,

and if you've read Bread and Wine, you know her recipes are great.

I'm excited to be giving away one copy of Savor.

Simply follow or email subscribe to this blog and/or follow me on Instagram,

then leave a comment here telling me if you are following me here or on IG and one thing you are savoring today.

Winner will be announced on Wednesday, March 25th.

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3-25-15-

My husband drew the winner of my giveaway for Shauna Niequist's devotional, Savor.

And the winner is OKLAHOMA RED!

Congratulations!  You're going to love this book!

Just around the bend...

Yesterday began with me watching our eight month old grandson for a couple of hours while our daughter ran errands.  He's tiny for his age, the only sign that he was a premie.  He crawls at an alarming rate of speed, pulls himself to standing, and walks while holding on to the edges of furniture, forgetting he can't walk independently yet, letting go, and falling all too often.  He grins perpetually, his face visibly lighting up when he sees someone he knows.  As I looked in his eyes while he drank his bottle, his brown eyes staring into mine like he could see into my soul, I was struck once again by the wonder of him.  A year and a half ago we had no idea that my daughter, who had never conceived in thirteen years of marriage, would be surprised and amazed to discover she was pregnant.  She and her husband were content with the family God had given them via adoption, our two amazing oldest grandchildren.  Who knew that a little ways further down the road, God had a big surprise, a huge blessing, awaiting them?  What an unexpected delight he is to them, to his siblings, to all of us.

That same afternoon I went with my youngest daughter over to her fiancé's house.  She and her fiancé will live there together after they get married this May.  We were doing a bit of cleaning and organizing when the thought struck me that a year ago my daughter had no idea what was just around the bend for her as she began 2014.  That spring she would begin to "hang out" with an acquaintance from church, they would begin dating, fall in love, and become engaged before year's end.  

When my husband and I went through what I call our "Job season", everything that could go wrong did go wrong.  We were tested and tried in just about every realm of our life.  I became shell shocked, afraid to answer the phone or check the mail, because another piece of bad news was sure to be waiting.  I became tormented by fear and evil foreboding.  I became conditioned to believe that what was around the bend in the road for us was bad news, not blessing.  I began to believe we had done something to mess up God's good plan for our lives and that when the Word said He had a future and a hope for us, we had somehow fallen through a loophole in that promise.  Right in the middle of that mess, I led a group of ladies from our church through Joyce Meyer's book study, The Battlefield of the Mind.  In her book she talks about a mindset of evil foreboding.  I recognized immediately that I was dealing with that exact thing in my mind.  Per her suggestion, I began speaking Proverbs 15:15 aloud over  myself, "I will not give into evil forebodings or anxious thoughts, but I will have a glad heart, resulting in a continual feast, regardless of circumstances."  It wasn't an instant cure by any means, but it was a beginning in renewing my mind to expect and see God's goodness and blessing in my life, even when circumstances were tough.

In the fall of  2009 my daughter recommended that I read Ann Voskamp's blog, A Holy Experience.  I don't think I'd ever even read a blog before!  Through Ann's online encouragement, before her book One Thousand Gifts had been published, I joined the "Gratitude Community".  I began to journal my blessings, and started my own blog, where I would list my gratitude each Monday and link-up with the other gratitude gatherers at Ann's place each week.  This habit of noticing and recording God's blessings in my life began to renew my mindset to expect blessing instead of evil foreboding.

When God began to deal with me to embrace the word endurance as my word for 2015, my mind wanted to revert back to fear and evil foreboding.  "Oh, this can't be good!", my thoughts told me, "There must be some rough road ahead that you're going to have to endure."  I wrestled with God about it, thinking if I rejected the word endurance and embraced a more upbeat word, that I could control or change whatever circumstances were ahead for me.  God gently and lovingly confirmed over and over and over to me though His Word that endurance was indeed a word I was to embrace, and that it wasn't a word to fear, but a word that had amazing promises connected with it. My foundational verse for 2015 is Hebrews 10:35-36 (Amplified Bible),  "Do not therefore filing away your fearless confidence, for it carries a great and glorious compensation of reward.  For you have need of steadfast patience and endurance, so that you may perform and fully accomplish the will of God, and thus receive and carry away and enjoy to the full what is promised."  So, instead of having an expectation of negative things that I'm going to have to endure, I have chosen to expect the promises given to one who has endured.  Yes, I said I have chosen.  A mindset of hopelessness, evil foreboding and negative expectation is never from God.  satan is the author of hopelessness and despair.  A godly mindset is one of fearless confidence in God's love and goodness, and in His ability to keep you in the palm of His hand when you do face adversity.  It's the mindset of Joseph who declared repeatedly that even his worst adversities had been used by God for good and for blessing.  Instead of expecting some sort of time bomb around the next bend in the road,  I'm expecting to see God's faithfulness, God's mercy, God's goodness, God's protection, and God's provision.  In fact, looking back, that's what has been around every bend in the road of my life all along.

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Also joining THOUGHT PROVOKING THURSDAYS 

at 3-D Lessons for Life

and 

Kelli at CHRONICLES OF GRACE

Spiritual Spring Cleaning...

It's that time of year, time when my thoughts turn to spring cleaning.  Today I woke up with the list of spring cleaning chores running through my mind;  wash the windows and clean all the blinds and curtains, clean out the pantry and kitchen cupboards, and the list goes on.

Out of curiosity I looked up the origin of spring cleaning.  As I expected, it has it roots in the fact that the Israelites cleaned their homes to remove anything with leaven in preparation for Passover.  They were relentless to remove every little leaven containing crumb that might be on the shelves or floors.

While I'm not Jewish, I've embraced the "tradition" of spring cleaning.  Deep cleaning in the fall before the holidays and in the spring after winter works well for me.  It helps me to go past just keeping things picked up for appearances sake.  It keeps me from collecting too much junk in the hidden places.

I'm neither Catholic, Eastern Orthodox, Anglican, Presbyterian, Methodist or Lutheran.  These are the Christian churches that traditionally observe Lent, forty days of fasting and repentance before Easter.

Just as I don't have to be Jewish to embrace the benefits of spring cleaning, I don't have to be a Presbyterian to see the benefits of having a Lenten attitude of fasting and repentance.  You see, it's not just my house that needs a good deep cleaning in the hidden places, it's me. 

I'm fifty six years old and I've loved Jesus since I was a little girl.  The spiritual junk I collect isn't readily observed by my outward behavior.  What I tend to collect are the things you'd only observe in a deep spring cleaning.  You'd need to move the furniture and open the closets and cupboards and drawers to see it.  You'd need to go into the basement with a good flashlight and take a look around.  It's hidden and deadly, like a toxic mold.  My spiritual junk is toxic attitudes such as selfishness, resentment, offense, criticalness and faultfinding.  I sometimes collect toxic attitudes like I do thrift store knick knacks.  If I don't submit to a deep cleaning regularly, they take over the place.

This year,  I'm calling in the spring cleaning big guns for some help.  I'm not asking for help with my house cleaning.  What I need help with is my heart cleaning.  I'm asking the Holy Spirit who dwells within me to move the furniture and open the closets and cupboards and drawers.  I'm asking Him to go into the basement with His light and take a look around.  I'm giving Him permission to expose all the places where I hide my junk.  I'm giving Him the tools He needs to give the place a good scrub down with the Word of God.  When He uncovers something ugly, I'm going to face the truth about my inward mess and ask Jesus to apply His sin killing blood to my toxic attitudes.  Then I'm going to ask Him to fill the whole place up with His Presence, with His love, with the glorious fresh spring scent of His fragrance.  When He's done I want Him to sit back, relax, put His feet up and abide in me.  I want Him to be able to rest in silent satisfaction at the good work He has done in me. 

 I know God loves me as is.  I know I am pre-approved by Him.  I also know He wants me to live free of things that are spiritually poisonous and deadly, the little hidden bits of leaven that eventually leaven the whole batch of dough.  When He searches them out and finds them, I don't feel condemned, I feel well loved.  He wants me to to live free and unhindered, and that's what I want too.

So it is with joy that I utter the words, "let the spring cleaning begin!"

I am joining Jennifer Lee in a journey to remove #LoveIdols from our lives. The book becomes available April 1st – Love Idol: Letting Go of Your Need for Approval – and Seeing Yourself Through God’s Eyes. It is available now for pre-order. Come join the movement on Facebook too.

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Getting rid of stinking thinking...

She'll turn two on Thanksgiving Day.

Before you know it, the diaper stage will be over and she'll be potty trained.

Let me tell you, that sweet little girlie can clear a room

and now she's old enough to announce the fact by yelling out the word, "poopy",

as if we all didn't already know.

Sometimes we assume that our "stinking thinking" is something we can keep to ourselves,

but the truth is, our mindsets are obvious, they show in the way we speak, in our actions.

And sometimes, we are giving off a fragrance that is anything but the fragrance of Christ.

I remember as clear as can be,  the day when this key truth changed my life.

We were gathered around the typical church folding tables in the back room of the church, 

Bibles and notepads spread out in front of us.

A pastor friend of ours was teaching a Bible study on the renewing of the mind at our church.

Suddenly, it was as if I had a lightbulb moment, 

and I understood why so many people struggle in their walk with God.

At salvation, our spirit is born again, 

but our soul, (our mind, will and emotions), have yet to be restored and renewed.

The cleansing, restoring, transforming agent is the Word of God.

The Holy Spirit uses the Word of God in our life, with our cooperation, 

to renew our minds, to transform us.

This is not instantaneous, like our salvation, but a life long process.

So, it made perfect sense to me that if you don't understand this, how discouraging it would be to expect instant transformation at salvation, then become totally defeated and maybe even question your salvation when you are still struggling with old ways of thinking, reacting and responding.

"But I thought we are new creatures in Christ?" you may ask.

Yes, we are!

But, just like a new computer can be loaded with old software,

you are still "loaded" with the old ways of thinking formed throughout your life,

even after your salvation.

You may be acknowledging right now that you've got some "stinking thinking".

Like my little granddaughter,  you may be crying out "poopy!", but not know what to do about it.

I love the Word of God, because it has the answers!

In Ephesians 4:22-25 it shows us clearly the step by step process to renew our minds,

to exchange our "stinking thinking" for the mind of Christ.

-First of all, verse twenty two says "strip off...".

All too often, we want to receive the exciting new truths of God's Word that we read or hear,

and put them on right on top of our old thinking.

That is about as effective as putting a clean diaper on top of a messy one.

The old smell is going to leak right through!

We must see our old ways of thinking for what they are and choose to discard 

the old unrenewed thoughts and ways.

-Verse twenty three says, "be constantly renewed in the spirit of your mind, 

having a fresh mental and spiritual attitude. (Amplified Bible)

This is the "washing" part of the change.

Once you recognize that the old ways of thinking, reacting and responding stinks, 

you need to not only take it off, but wash!

Taking the "poopy" diaper off a baby isn't sufficient.

There's a whole lot of baby wipes, and sometimes a whole bath, 

involved in removing the offensive smell.

Ephesians 5:26 says that Jesus cleanses us with the washing of the water of the Word.

We are cleansed and forgiving of sins and trespasses by His work on the cross,

but there is a cleansing that we need to partake of that comes through the Word,

the cleansing of our old mindsets through partaking of the Truth.

-Verse twenty four is all about putting on the "clean diaper". 

 It says to put on the new nature.

This is simply choosing to accept and receive the Truth and receiving it as your new way of thinking.

No matter how much you think it doesn't make sense, 

no matter how much your flesh doesn't like it,

no matter how contrary it is to the cultural norm, 

what God's Word says is true, and our thinking must line up with it.

-Verse twenty five sums it up by telling us how to keep our thinking right,

 how to walk in the victory of a renewed mind.

It simply says, "reject all falsity".

We must live a lifestyle of continual submission to God's Spirit and Word,

and rejection of all thoughts, emotions and choices that are contrary.

Our thoughts, our mindsets, set the direction for our lives.

If they don't line up with the plumbline of God's Word, 

it doesn't take long for us to totally get off course.

I want my thoughts, words and deeds to line up with God's Word and His will.

It starts with my thoughts.

I don't want to struggle with "stinking thinking",

I want the sweet fragrance of the mind of Christ,

I want my thoughts to line up with the heart of God and the truth of His Word.

still following,

(I encourage you to study this topic for yourself,  

look up what the Bible says about renewing the mind and restoring the soul.  

Some books that I found helpful are The Three Battlegrounds by Francis Frangipane, 

Renewing the Mind by Casey Treat, 

The Battlefield of the Mind by Joyce Meyer,

Lord I Want to be Whole by Stormie Omartian.)

     

Women who changed my life, words that changed my life and becoming that for someone else...

(quote by Cassandra Clare, photo enhanced with Kim Klassen's gray day texture)

There are women who have changed my life, 

some by their direct involvement in my life,

and some simply by their words.

There is some risk involved in giving honor to women who have impacted my life,

for surely I will leave someone out.

A word spoken, a random act of kindness, a written note of encouragement

all have shaped me, even though the event, even though the name, 

may be lost in the fog of long ago memories.

Men have shaped me too, but this post, this one is for the women,

 the women who have helped to make me who I am.

Of course, my mama and my sisters.  

They deserve a writing of their own.

They are my roots.

My three daughters, 

surely they have been my greatest teachers,

oh, how they changed my life,

how they changed my world.

My love and gratitude for them can't be expressed enough.

The aunt who "got me", the one who remarked to my mama about me being tender hearted.

I was such a little thing, yet the memory is still clear and vivid these fifty years later.

I didn't feel labeled, I felt understood.

That someone "gets you" is a powerful thing.

The third grade teacher who was full of kindness,

the woman who loved our hurting family enough to make sure we had a ride to church,

the Sunday School teacher who took our class camping,

the high school English teacher who saw the potential in me,

each one a blessing,

a God gift.

The young wife and mama who sat down one day and wrote me that life changing note,

her five minutes of obedience changed my destiny.

She wrote that God had a purpose for my life,

a call on my life,

perhaps a call to ministry.

It felt like someone had opened wide a door before me,

a door I never even knew was there before I sat down and read that simple one paragraph note.

There was the retired missionary's wife who taught the first women's Bible study I ever attended.

I fell in love with the Word because of her.

There were the two older ladies who convinced me I could teach a Bible study,

me, a young mama with three little girls.

They believed I could, so I believed I could, and so I did.

I'm still teaching the Word all these years later.

If you asked me when I feel I'm in the sweet spot of God's will,

that would be it,

when I'm teaching the Word.

And then we were on our own,

pastoring our own church,

and I was doing the mentoring, 

but I still needed mentored.

And so God sent me word mentors,

women I never met face to face,

but they mentored me through their books.

In my home office, 

one whole wall is books,

just my books.

(The Hubs has his books, 

that cover more than one whole wall,

in his office at the church.)

Edith Shaeffer, Joyce Meyer, Stormie Omartian, Marion Duckworth, Joy Dawson

I tried to pick five books that were most life changing to show you,

but how can I leave out Ruth Bell Graham, Elizabeth Elliot, Amy Carmichael,

Catherine Marshall, Evelyn Christenson, Anne Ortlund, Beth Moore,

oh, how their books came into my life right when I needed them

and how I've read them all over and over,

marked them up,

digested their truths,

taught their principles to others.

And there's more I could name, 

so many more.

But, I'm not done,

because perhaps,

quite possibly,

I'm really quite sure of it,

it's the ones younger than me,

the ones I've fumblingly, stumblingly tried to mentor,

that also mentored me.

Because I've never ministered to someone else,

without God ministering back to me,

and I've never taught someone else,

without learning something myself.

And so I leave this post rather open ended,

with some thoughts for you to ponder.

What women have been used by God to shape your life?

What books has God used to shape your life?

What small act of obedience,

(a note of encouragement,

a spoken, "you can do this, I believe in you",

reaching out to someone younger than you, etc.),

might God be asking you to do?

(You might be surprised by the blessing that you experience in return!)

I'd love to read your responses in the comments.

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The Hidden Art of Homemaking…

Even as a young girl I fell in love with books rich in descriptive words about home, family, and food.

I wiled away hours imagining my future home and life as a wife and mama.

When those years did come,  the Hubs and I started our life together poor as church mice.

It was Edith Schaeffer’s book, The Hidden Art of Homemaking, that inspired and mentored me in using my creativity to make our house a home, not to wait for some far off day when we could afford it.

I think, while this book was written in 1971 and may have portions that are outdated, it’s premise makes it a good read for anyone who wants to decorate their home creatively,

( not cookie cutter, and catalog like), as well as economically.

“It seems to me that, whether it is recognized or not, there is a terrific frustration which increases in intensity and harmfulness as time goes on, when people are always daydreaming of the kind of place in which they would like to live,  yet never making the place where they do live into anything artistically satisfying to them.”

Edith Schaeffer

As the years went by, God brought real life women into my life, who helped to model this hidden art for me.

One was a woman whose single wide mobile home housed herself, her husband and her three children, teens and pre teens, in very limited space.

I loved visiting their home.

It was creatively, artistically decorated.

I still remember the vintage, round table used as a coffee table.

I remember the delicious, healthful meals we shared there.

I remember her, every time I enjoy the ink drawings she made for me, seen in the photo above.

 

Still following,

Elizabeth