I felt the heaviness trying to cling to me.
I thought it was probably due to the deluge of unexpected financial drain.
I also credited it to a recent frustrating/hurtful situation with someone we had tried to help.
But, this morning in church as I stood there in worship, eyes closed, hands lifted high,
God shined some light and truth in my heart.
He revealed to me two different areas where I was harboring disappointment and anger at Him.
One was because He hadn't spared someone I love from a deep hurt and disappointment
and one was because He hadn't spared me.
What a loving Father to want me to tell Him honestly when I'm angry or disappointed at Him,
to want me to hash things out with Him instead of letting them lie buried within where they fester and ferment.
I'm so grateful to Him for a heart that now feels light and free and clean.
In 2012 I followed the prompts in Ann Voskamp's Joy Dare in counting my thanks.
In 2013 I'm going back to the way I did it in the beginning,
just noticing and recording the many extraordinary blessings in my ordinary life.
And so I continue to count my thanks
piling up gratitude day by day
in my little black journal.
(and capturing some of them via my camera or iPhone)
-a song that spoke God's truth to my heart
-pushing through feelings til I sense the Rock that cannot be shaken beneath my feet
-going to only grandson's ball game with the whole family
-devotions before leaving to spend the day with my blog friend
-such a fun day!
-coming home to the Hubs
-a gorgeous, sunny May Day
-sensing Holy Spirit help when I write
-God guiding my day
-my husband's mentor and friend
-some unexpected extra time to catch up on a few things
-dinner outside and good conversation with one of our leaders from church
-my good friend being gracious to me to forgive a comment I shouldn't have made
-trying something new and fun for lunch on Friday date day with the Hubs-Korean Tacos!
-the Hubs putting up with my home decor quirkiness, even though he doesn't really get it
-all three of our granddaughters overnight at our house for a slumber party
-the Hubs making breakfast for all the girls
-getting my Saturday chores done
-a run in the sun
-going to Starbucks and Target with my oldest granddaughter
-my grandson's ball game...he made two runs!
-great worship, great word, great fellowship
-in worship, God revealing truth to me about two areas in my heart where I was disappointed/angry at Him
-grabbing a yummy, quick lunch with the Hubs before he had to go back to the church
-taking my grandson to pick out a new bike for his upcoming birthday