Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Savor the season...

They lay here at the foot of my bed in their makeshift pallet on the floor. I hear their breathing. It's early morn and the room is still dark, except for the glow of my laptop as I sit up in bed to type. Hubby was up long ago, he's downstairs in his little office starting his morning routine. I heard the grind of the coffee maker, and eventually he'll head up the stairs with his love offering in hand, a cup of hot, black coffee. Usually the laptop is on the desk in my office, but last night I browsed the blogosphere while grandbabies watched a kiddie movie lying here in the bed next to me. But for the first time, when it was time for the actual sleeping, five year old grandson was willing to lay down on the blankets on the floor next to six year old sister, instead of in the bed between Papa and I. I slept well, not sleep deprived due to the jabs of his sharp little elbows, and his magnetic attraction to the part of the mattress that should be my space. And I realize, it's the end of a season, he's a big boy now, not a baby. My eyes well up with tears as I type. I wonder how people who don't know Him, who think that life in the here and now is all there is, bear it-this lump in the throat as time flies by so fast, too fast. Grandson and I talked about this very thing as we drove home in the car last night. We were in separate cars so, as always, grandaughter chooses to ride with Papa, and grandson with me. Always, this is our way, whenever he has me to himself. he opens up the deep thoughts of his little heart. "Grandma's going to go to heaven soon," he says. He's referring to my 84 year old mama. "Maybe," I reply, "Is that what mama said to you?" "No," he says,"that's just what I think. But I don't want her to. I want her to always be my Grandma." We talk about how everyone gets old, how everyone eventually dies, and how if you have Jesus as "the boss of your life", you will go to heaven and live forever. His voice is concerned. "I don't want my mom and dad to get old." he says. "I don't want them to die." I'm so grateful, grateful that I can say with 100 percent surety, that this life isn't all that there is. That God has a place prepared for us that is our real home. And when it's time for us to die and go there, we will all be together again...with Papa's dad, Nana's dad, Nana's big sister...all the ones we love, who loved Him, who have gone before. And all of this floods my mind, as I think of how fast life zooms by. I am constantly being reminded to live in the moment, to not worry about tomorrow while forgetting to savor my today. I am a notorious multi-tasker. The downside to that is, you don't really focus on, savor the one thing, the moment. God help me to savor the season I am in, to savor the day, the moment.

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