The other day I was reading Matthew 5:21-28 in my devotional time. In this passage Jesus is making a point that our inward sinful thoughts and attitudes are as serious as our outwardly obvious sins. I am guessing that, for most of us, our struggle with sin lies within more than in obvious outward behaviors. Either way, Jesus reminds us that sin is sin.
Recently, I have been praying that the Holy Spirit would shine His light on any areas of inward sin that I have either been unaware of or have purposefully ignored. One morning He showed me a particularly ugly sinful attitude that I had been unaware of. I was inwardly jealous of someone who I perceived that God was blessing more than He was blessing me. The ugliest part was that I thought I was more "deserving" of God's blessing than this person. I told you it was ugly. When the Holy Spirit revealed it to me, I was disgusted that I would even, could even, think like that. I acknowledged what God had shown me and I tearfully repented.
You may not be aware of my battles with sin by my outward appearance. However, God and I know that inwardly I battle a tendency to be faultfinding and critical. I battle pride and self centeredness. My struggle to overcome these tendencies are as real as any battle with an outwardly visible sin of the flesh. Sin is sin, and whether it's hidden on the inside or visible on the outside, it weighs us down as we are running our race for God. I want to be free from this weight of sin. (Join me for the rest of this post on Sunday, March 5th, at Woman to Woman Ministries where each Sunday I share a bit of Sunday Soul Food!)