"I know that I can trust You...
I lean not on my own understanding
My life is in the hands of the Maker of Heaven"
(by Will Reagan and United Pursuit)
As we sang these words at church this morning I realized just how true those words are.
Not just true in the sense that I believe the Bible and the Bible says that God is trustworthy,
but the kind of "I know" that means I really truly know it personally and intimately.
I KNOW that I can trust Him.
There were many times over the years that I may not have been able to sing those words
with such personal assurance...
When I went through my own personal time of deep darkness, depression and despair.
In our "Job season" when it seemed like we lived in a perfect storm of whatever could go wrong did go wrong.
When I watched my oldest daughter struggle through year after year of infertility and miscarriage.
When I saw my second born lose all hope for the dreams God had given her.
When my youngest daughter felt like the desires in her heart would never come to pass.
It's when I look back that I see that through it all God really did have a good plan for us all along.
(Like the two little girls in the picture above, my oldest daughter's girls.
The first one was born after ten years of infertility, the second two years later.)
I know that in the middle of whatever mess you're facing, "I know that I can trust You",
can be the hardest words in the world to say.
But can I encourage you to say them anyway, to sing them anyway,
loud enough for the enemy to hear your declaration,
and long enough for the words to sift past your tumultuous emotions and take root in your heart.
Someday you'll look back and see His hand at work through it all,
you'll see that He was trustworthy even when it didn't feel like He was there for you.
And like me, you'll sing, "I KNOW that I can trust You", with a heart overflowing with gratitude.
Since 2009 I've been counting my blessings thanks to the prompting of Ann Voskamp.
I continue to count my thanks
piling up gratitude day by day
in my little black journal.
(and capturing some of my blessings via my camera or iPhone)
-taking my youngest grandson on a long walk in his stroller
-a great word at our annual ministers' conference
-visiting with other pastors we haven't seen in a long time
-watching our two youngest granddaughters while my son-in-law spoke at a session at the conference
-the way our five year old granddaughter ran to me with a huge grin on her face
when I picked her up from kindergarten
-meeting Papa for lunch during a break at the conference
-all the great messages at conference
-our Truelife Espanol pastors' sweet baby girl was born this morning,
(and we were at the hospital to hear her first cries)!
-a meeting to encourage someone and coming away encouraged myself
-God's blessing and strength on this day
-our daughter inviting us to go to the pumpkin patch with her family
-taking them out to a yummy lunch afterwards
-a relaxing evening at home together
-waking up to the sound of rain
-our two oldest grands coming over to spend the night
-oldest grandson watching football with Papa
-oldest granddaughter going to a baby shower with me
-dancing and laughing with the grands in the living room
-homemade taco soup and cornbread for dinner
-the way all the grands end up sleeping on the floor in our room even though we have a nice room for them
-homemade pumpkin muffins with maple glaze for the grands for breakfast
-encouragement via text
-going to lunch with people from church that we love like family but didn't even know a year ago
-I KNOW that I can trust You