Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Friendship...


We hadn't seen each other in way too long.  The issue wasn't distance, I can drive to her house in under two hours. We could easily meet up somewhere in the middle.  We had both simply let life and busy-ness get in the way, and we had let ourselves get a bit lazy about making the effort.  Maybe we had both forgotten that there was something valuable that we were in danger of letting die through neglect.  Maybe all of those reasons are why I never kept in touch with my friends from high school or college.  Ours is the longest friendship I have.  It's been over thirty two years since we first met.  I was the new youth pastor's wife at the church where she was involved in leading worship.  We were both young wives, both young mamas.  We raised our kids together, her two boys and my three girls  were almost like siblings.  Even when we moved away, she would come to see me or I would go to see her.  Our kids, and sometimes husbands, would come along.  Stories of our times together are some of the most common memories our children talk about.

We live in a culture where relationships are expendable, disposable.  It's common practice to walk away from a relationship when conflict arises instead of walking through hard times with each other.  We managed to maintain our relationship through its highs and lows, maybe not in the right way, the talking it all through way.  Our method was more to just let it go, to forgive and forget.

She recently celebrated a milestone birthday.  I texted her early that morning and wished her a happy birthday, then picked a date and said let's meet!  And so we did.  We sat at a Starbucks and caught up on all the news about her family and mine.  We talked about the challenges of aging, about church and answers to prayer, about joys and struggles.  Just like always, it felt as if we just picked up where we had left off, as if it hadn't been such a long time since we'd talked or seen each other.  We walked around the mall and shopped a bit, and I schooled her on why she definitely should branch out and embrace leather booties with her skinny jeans rolled up just to the top of the boot.  She bought the booties in both brown and black and bought two new pair of skinny jeans.  We joked about how her husband will say, "what'd your sidekick talk you into now?" and how she'll boast about how much money she saved because of the sales we found.  We knew he'd respond with, "How much did you have to spend to save that much?"

 Eventually we sat down for a late lunch at a favorite restaurant.  We laughed, we teared up at times, we talked and talked. The day before I had dealt with some disappointment, but somehow just being with my friend who had been with me through so many years of life's ups and downs lifted me out of the funk. 

Our time together reminded me of the value and importance of all of the women in my life.  From my sisters, to my longtime friends, to friends I've just made in recent years, each relationship is a valuable thread in the tapestry of my life.  I need them.  I need the laughter, the tears, the silly conversations and the deep ones, things that can only be shared with someone who really knows you, who really gets you, and who loves you in spite of it all.  I've been diligent to be disciplined in God's Word and prayer, in diet and exercise, all in attempts to finish life strong and well.  I've come to realize this is another important piece of the puzzle.  I must be disciplined to nurture the relationships with my sisters and my friends. I need these relationships. They are just too important to let wither and die from neglect.


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21 comments:

  1. Great post and makes me think about all the friends I haven't been in contact with for a while. Thanks for sharing on Good Morning Mondays. Blessings

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    1. Terri, it takes intention and effort to keep in touch, doesn't it?

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  2. You are so right that it takes discipline to nurture these relationships, Elizabeth. It sounds like a wonderful day you spent with your dear friend. I have not been great about keeping in touch with old friends over the years. I've moved around a lot and left too many people behind. This is a perfect reminder of the importance of spending time on important relationships.

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    1. Candice, it's actually work to maintain friendships, isn't it?

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  3. So good. It takes effort to nurture the relationships that God brings us to. I have some friends who have moved away, and as active I am on social media, I don't chat with them much. I need to change that.

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    1. Barbie, yes, I agree. It's easier to get so wrapped up in social media that we are ignoring our flesh and blood relationships!

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  4. Yes. these kind of friendships are gifts to appreciate and value. I am so glad you have her in your life, and that you both took the time 'to meet' and rekindle that special friendship.

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  5. It is easy to lose the heart of what friendship needs when we forget to be intentional. It is work, it is effort, but it is always worth it. It is even better when those friendships stay close, even when the chance to connect is minimal. Those are what I call, God-friends. :)
    You have such a welcoming and beautiful place here.. Just following Jesus.
    Blessings,
    Dawn

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    1. You are to right, Dawn. It takes effort and intention to maintain our relationships but it is so worth it!

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  6. In our mobile society, it becomes harder and harder as we age to keep up with all of our old (and new) friendships but it is good to be inspired to keep trying. Thanks for the inspiration today.

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    1. It is a challenge to maintain any relationships in this culture, I think. Isn't that just like the enemy to want to isolate us? And when we get lazy about nurturing our relationships, we play right into his hands.

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  7. Beautiful picture of a beautiful friendship. They are worth fighting routine for.

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  8. SO true. (Isn't it sad that it takes "discipline" to maintain friendship?) That I should squander time of lesser things, saddens me--hopefully enough to DO something about it...

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    1. It takes time and intention and effort to maintain any relationship, but you are right, it's so much easier to be lazy and to waste our time on the lesser things.

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  9. You are so right about this. If it wasn't for my two best friends I don't know what I would have done during the tough times. We've enjoyed much laughter and have shed some tears but through it all we've made it. Your post said what I am not eloquent enough to said. Thanks for saying it so well!

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    1. You are a rich woman to have two best friends who have been there for you through thick and thin!

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  10. I love the friendship that I can return to over and over and it never matters what a bad communicator I've been. In fact, your post made me realize that no matter how much I love those friendships for their ease of maintenance, I need to do some maintaining! Thanks for the reminder!

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    1. You are so right! We can't take our relationships for granted!

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  11. Friendship is definitely one of God's greatest gifts! I love my best friend, and we have been raising our kids as siblings. Can't imagine life without her!

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