I had been looking forward to it all week, the Hubs day off of work.
We had big plans with our visiting grandbabies for a fun day.
The day before, the evening before, everything was great.
That night I had an unsettling dream, unusual for me, and when I woke up on that anticipated day, I just felt off. I felt off all day. I felt like I was chasing happy and couldn’t quite catch it.
Tonight, the grandbabies are camped out on the floor in our room, I hear their soft snores as I type. The Hubs is watching an old MASH re-run, I’m snuggled in bed photo-editing on the laptop. Suddenly, happy has caught me.
Happiness is a very capricious thing. I’ve tried to catch it on a beautiful, sunny, vacation day and had it allude me. I’ve been on my hands and needs scrubbing the kitchen floor and had it catch me.
I’ve come to realize happy is a very unreliable, unpredictable, undependable emotion.
I think I’ll just quit chasing happy.
Instead I’m running after gratitude, because when I catch it, I also grab hold of contentment and joy.
Oh sure, I’ll still enjoy the moments when happy sneaks up on me,
but it’s just not the prize I’m after anymore.
my continuing gratitude list #1134-#1144
-a great night’s sleep
-a fun outing with all three grandbabies
-homemade spaghetti sauce
-all His benefits (Psalm 103)
-walking around local fitness trail with the Hubs and grandbabies
-cooking with the kids
-being early for an appointment, so having a quiet half-hour in the car with Bible and journal
-an evening at oldest daughter’s, a movie and popcorn, fun watching the three grandkids together
-visiting Mama’s grave, now that her headstone is done, with the grandbabies and leaving flowers
-a trip to Hub’s hometown, visiting his dad’s grave, walking around the lake, sharing his memories with the grandkids
-those who paid the price for our freedom with their lives