Sometimes I avoid Him. I put off entering His presence until I feel more acceptable…until I’ve got my spiritual self together more. Other times I breeze right into His throne room, proud of myself. I’m on a roll, a good streak, I’ve been good. I know better, but I still feel like He likes me better, will hear my prayers more, on the days I have my act together. Both scenarios are flawed, both based on the crumbling foundation of self righteousness and works, both rooted in pride.
There is no one good enough, no not one. Not even me. No matter how consistent I am in spiritual disciplines, how selfless in acts of service, how fervent in prayer I am still undeserving of His great love and grace. And yet He loves me…lavishly, extravagantly, overwhelmingly, perfectly, unchangingly, on my best days and on my worst days. In this truth, I find rest.