My soul, (mind, will, and emotions), wants to go on a loooonnnnng vacation to someplace hot and sunny and far away.
My soul wants to pamper self, indulge self, give self a big, old extravaganza pity party.
Soul says, “Go ahead. You deserve it. You’ve had a hard week.”
It has been a hard week.
My house is stinky. Very stinky. I left a pan of eggs boiling away on the stove, and left the house
for FOUR HOURS.
for FOUR HOURS.
Upon returning home, our two story house was filled with thick, gray, stinky smoke.
I’m waiting on the insurance adjustors assessment so we can begin the big clean up.
In the meanwhile…it stinks.
My 84 year old mama has had a bad week. Not wanting to get out of bed kind of bad.
We are making the hard decision to seriously look into an assisted living facility, per her own request.
She knows I can’t stay with her 24/7, and it’s getting unsafe to leave her alone.
This stinks too.
As if this wasn’t enough, then came the blindside…
right to my weak spot…
and my heart feels bruised…
and I feel
unnecessary…
unnecessary…
dispensable…
Soul says, “Just give up.”
It sounds so very close to the words of the Spirit.
The Spirit says, “Lay down.”
“Lay down, right there on the altar.”
“Surrender. Humble yourself. Let go.”
It sounds so very close, but the meaning is worlds apart.
Kingdom of darkness versus Kingdom of light worlds apart.
And so, with Word laying across my lap, I raise my arms in surrender.
Take me, I am Your living sacrifice.
Take all that I have, all that I love.
Take it all, for I am bought with a Price beyond compare.
Somehow, glorify Yourself in my body, soul and spirit.
It all belongs to You.
Take the stench that arises, not from the outward,
but from my heart.
Take the frustration, the worry,
the wounded, weary heart,
and let it blaze with holy fire.
Help me to cooperate with You
and let the Word renew my mind
‘til soul is silenced
and spirit agrees with Spirit
and mouth speaks Truth
instead of feelings.
Psalm 11
1 I trust in the Lord for protection.
So why do you say to me,
“Fly like a bird to the mountains for safety! (or to a warm, sunny, far away place)
2 The wicked are stringing their bows
and fitting their arrows on the bowstrings.
They shoot from the shadows
at those whose hearts are right.
3 The foundations of law and order have collapsed.
What can the righteous do?”
So why do you say to me,
“Fly like a bird to the mountains for safety! (or to a warm, sunny, far away place)
2 The wicked are stringing their bows
and fitting their arrows on the bowstrings.
They shoot from the shadows
at those whose hearts are right.
3 The foundations of law and order have collapsed.
What can the righteous do?”
4 But the Lord is in his holy Temple;
the Lord still rules from heaven.
the Lord still rules from heaven.
This was so good! Oh to lay down our will, daily. But especially when we want to give into the soul versus leaning and being controlled by the Spirit.
ReplyDeleteGreat post!
Profound, and meaningful to me this week as well.
ReplyDeletePraying for the situations that have rattled your peace this week, and thanking God that He is ruling on His throne!
Ginger
Oh Elizabeth ~ I am so sorry you have had such a rough week! I am lifting you up to the Lord and know HE is already with you as you have surrendered to HIM. I know that HE will move on your behalf and for your sweet momma too. You are such the example and for that I am thanking HIM!! Bless u my friend!
ReplyDeleteI really needed to read this today. I've had such a hard week also, and was feeling my soul tugging a little too much. I pray you're week looks brighter as you lay down on the alter.
ReplyDeleteMy soul is somehow refreshed by your surrender. Holy God has used you today. Never been here before, but I'm so glad I came. Thank you so much.
ReplyDeleteMy soul has been wanting to escape lately, to a place of nothingness. Not good. I’m sorry to hear about your mom; my mom had that kind of week last week (at her assisted living facility), and it wore me out, mentally and emotionally. I know your decision is a very difficult one. I still have guilt at times about our decision to put my mom where she is, but when I’m rational, I know that it’s the absolute best place for her and she is getting much better care there than we could offer her at her own home or our homes. I pray you will find peace and wisdom in whatever decision you must make for your mom. There's no easy answers.
ReplyDeleteI’m so glad it’s safe for us to surrender. I keep having to do it over and over… Thanks for this post today, Elizabeth; it really has touched me. My prayers are with you, friend.
Blessings,
Lisa
I have never heard ourselves been referred to as a soul vs. spirit....I like it.
ReplyDeleteI feel your struggle. There are times, I just find myself at the end of desesperation. But he always finds me and lifts me up. Have faith things will get better.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry you have had a bad week. I know any one of those things alone is hard to deal with. I will be praying for your sweet mama and for your house/insurance ordeal. Isn't it wonderful that we have a loving, caring God to surrender to. Believing for a fabulous rest of the week.
ReplyDeleteLove and Blessings
A beautiful post. I will praying for His direction and help for you.
ReplyDeleteThank you , thank you, thank you!!! It is in our power through the Holy Spirit, to take on this right perspective. This has been so encouraging. Visiting from Holy Experience. God bless you today!
ReplyDelete