Last Sunday, my husband had me teach the Word for our two Sunday services. Notice that I said teach, because I do not consider myself a preacher, but a teacher. I love the Word of God, and I believe that I have been called to teach it and to hopefully encourage others to fall in love with Its riches as well. It was one of those times when the study came together easily, when I knew it's what God wanted said, and when I felt a powerful anointing as I ministered. As I taught, I had a feeling of being "fully alive"-of doing what I was created to do.
I wish that was what ministry was always like! But, unfortunately, that is only a small part in this life calling that we call "the ministry". It seems like every time you are on a ministry high, as I was after sharing the Word, the enemy will do every thing he can do to "unplug" your joy...to drain you of the peace, joy, and spiritual strength and energy that is such a threat to him and his dark kingdom. This week I felt incessantly pecked at and provoked by him. Each day came with a new problem... news of someone hurting, someone sick, someone disgruntled, someone stumbling. Like David in the book of Psalm, I began to wish for a way to fly away and be at rest! I called a trusted friend and told her of my plan to resign and run away from the call of God and from the whole human race in general.
Tomorrow is Sunday. I'm still here, and though in my imagination, I may have escaped for a moment or two to an imaginary dream home by the sea, tomorrow I will wake up in my same bed, in my same home and go to church. There I will see the face of that hurting one, that sick one, that lonely one, possibly even that disgruntled one...and I will hug them and love them and encourage them, leaning heavily, not on anything within myself, but on the Spirit of God. I will walk through another Sunday and another week...trusting in the One who alone can restore my joy, Who is my peace, and Who is my strength. Note to self: watch carefully what you teach, for Monday cometh when you may have to live it! My topic last Sunday was: Keep Walking...Your Victory May Be Only A Step Away.