Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Fountain of joy...

It bubbles up from within, 
this fountain of joy,
and it splashes and spills over and leaves messy puddles and drips,
because joy isn't neat and tidy and containable,
it's living water,
bubbling,
bubbling,
bubbling, 
up from within.
There was a time my fountain got all clogged up,
stopped up with anger and hurt,
that I had stuffed 
down,
down,
down,
and life turned gray.
Day after day,
week after week,
month after month,
I woke up to my gray life,
and color and life and joy was still all around me,
but it couldn't penetrate the gray bubble I lived in.
Revelation came,
"unresolved anger becomes depression"
so I fought to unclog the fountain,
with Word,
with Prayer,
with Worship,
with Forgiveness,
with Walking,
miles
and 
miles
of walking
and talking to Him
while I walked.
Then, on a day like all the others,
I woke up and at the end of the gray tunnel I'd lived in,
 I saw a light.
The fountain started trickling again,
slowly at first,
I think I'd forgotten how to laugh,
how to let the fountain flow fully and freely,
but eventually I remembered.
Never again, 
has the fountain stopped flowing,
like it did those two long gray years.
Sometimes the flow has slowed to a trickle
while walking through painful circumstances,
but never again has it stopped altogether.
I'm learning to keep the pump primed,
by counting my blessings,
naming them one by one,
just like the old song says.
Today, I counted 
  the beauty of the morning as I drove the grandkids to school,
the feeling of the wind in my hair on my run,
and the ache of some muscles too,
a phone call from my Hubs who's in Ghana right now,
lunch with my brother, good food and great heart conversation,
after school, having a jump roping contest with my grandson who's just learning,
and being proud of my 55 year old self that I can still jump rope pretty darn well,
getting the two grands to help me with some chores so the house looks all spiffy 
when Papa and their parents get back from Ghana on Friday,
and grandson down on his knees with me helping me mop the wood floor,
him saying, "I like to wipe things up",
These things aren't the source of the joy,
because Jesus is the living water,
but noticing these gifts He gives,
they just make that fountain gush all over,
with wild and crazy and messy
and beautiful
joy.



Still following,

22 comments:

  1. Beautiful words. I read them with a smile, recognising a journey I too took, finding laughter again was key for me too. Emma

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  2. Absolutely beautiful and so inspiring.

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    1. Thank you, sweet friend. Hope your kitchen project is going well...can't wait to see it finished !

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  3. Elizabeth,This post is so many things...

    beautiful poetic words to feed the soul, wisdom to hold close and ponder, hope to grasp onto...a gift from your beautiful heart to ours.
    Thank you~
    R

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  4. I was just singing in the minivan, yesterday, with Charleigh: "I've got joy like a fountain; I've got joy like a fountain; I've got joy like a fountain in my soul!" :)

    Much to appreciate, here. I liked reading about your journey, and it has been a journey, hasn't it?; I guess it always is.

    Joy, of course, is a fruit of the spirit, but the tree has to be tended (or, as you say, the well has to be primed) for the fruit to grow. I detest the notion that a person can just CHOOSE happiness or joy like *blink, blink*, ok...I'm happy or joyful, now. I hate, too, the notion that there's no beauty in our states of non. I have learned so much about God's heart during those bleak seasons.

    Love you, so thankful for your wisdom (and willingness to share it), and, yes, for your joy in the Lord that bubbles and spills over us.

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    1. Lots of good old choruses about joy! Thanks, Brandee!

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  5. I love your post of joy, Elizabeth.

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  6. Yes, just echo what Robin said for me too.

    Thanks for the beauty.

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    1. You are my sweet cheerleader...you always cheer me on this journey. I appreciate you!

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  7. Beautiful! I'm just coming out of my gray 1 year 3 months of days where everything felt like I was trudging through knee deep mud and getting nowhere. BUT GOD who is always faithful has walked with me every step of the way and I'm out of the dark tunnel and am now in the Light again. It is just the beginning of the LIGHT but, oh how I Praise God that I am once again feeling and seeing the beauty in all He has created and finding those things to Praise and thank Him for. I really needed this today and I thank you for posting it.

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  8. I understand the gray fog, been there too.
    To wake up and be able to know that life is precious and there is beauty in the simple things even breath, one day at a time the joy comes.
    Great writing.

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  9. yes, He is the living water, and counting blessings definitely helps...love the picture of you jumping with your grandson, Elizabeth...precious :)

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  10. I love the jumproping! Yes... it is so about finding joy in those moments. This is lovely - I particularly love the visual display of the words.

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    1. The way the words came out, purely unplanned by me, but rather fountain-y, no?

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  11. Piqued my interest here when you talk about Joy being messy, something for me to chew on today. Thanks for sharing.

    -Bob

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    1. Maybe undignified rather than messy, or childlike, lots of different words I probably could have used. :)

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