Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Mama, did you grieve?



(Mama’s kids, the day of her funeral, January 2011.  Our oldest sister is missing from the photo.  She went to heaven before Mama.  My youngest brother, mentioned in the post below, is standing next to me on the right.We are lined up by age.)

I wish Mama had been able to share her feelings with me.

What were you feeling Mama, the day my brother and his wife and your two little red-haired granddaughters boarded the plane, and flew across the world to serve as missionaries to Ethiopia?

I wish Mama had told me then if she was afraid, proud, happy, sad, or did she grieve?

Mama, was there part of you that grieved?

After Mama fell and broke her hip a year ago last November, everything medically spiraled downhill for her.

We didn’t know if she was going to make it, so we contacted my brother in Africa.

We didn’t tell Mama.

She would have been upset at us bothering him.

When he walked into her hospital room, Mama burst into tears, called out his name and said,

“Oh, you’re just as handsome as ever!”

Suddenly, she was just a mama with her little boy, the baby of the family,

and it meant the world to her to have him there with her.

She must have grieved the day they all flew so far away,

grief and pride all mixed up in a confusing package.

When she died, we found all the newsletters, the emails, the correspondence from Africa,

first from Ethiopia, then Rwanda, then Uganda as their ministry moved them around the continent.

In six days, my own little girl, her husband, and my two grandbabies, board a plane to Ghana, Africa,

My emotions are a confusing package of grief and pride.

I wish my Mama was here.

I think she would understand how I feel.


Still following,




  1. I guess that is the hard eucharisteo. I can't imagine how difficult. Your story about your mama and brother reminded me of my own mother-in-law home with hospice and one of her sons had been in the hospital for over two months himself. We were so afraid she might pass away before getting to see him (and vice versa.) It was a joyous occasion when he was able to visit her.

  2. Oh, Elizabeth. I am praying for you. I didn't realize how close the time was. And I wish your mama were here to help you through.

  3. What a joy to have raised children that are willing to give their lives for others. What a humbling, grace-filled thought that God in His mercy would choose one of yours.

    Lift up your head sweet sister--this life is only a vapor--you have eternity to spend with them--

    But when that whiff of vapor has blown away there will be souls remaining who were saved by their sacrifice and all will be well. All is well!

  4. I am praying for you - MUCH - dear friend!

  5. I know this is so heavy on your heart. Praying for grace.

  6. You made me cry - when he walked into her room. I don't think our children really understand our hearts until they as parents experience what we experience. I miss the little boys in my grown up boys. I miss that close relationship - the sun always shines brighter when they walk into my home:) Praying for you in this letting go. I do think you have an awesome set of footprints that show the way!

  7. Oh my...this is just lovely...oh...a momma's heart...wanting to set our kids free to walk in all God has...while at the same time wanting to hold on tight...It would have been sweet for you and your momma to share this moment...grace and peace to you...

  8. Oh, I will be praying for you. It seems silly to say but I was just as sad when my son moved from Florida to Arizona. It wasn't as far but far enough away to where I knew I would hardly ever see him. He was all alone somewhere where he knew no one and was single. My brother told me I choose how I think about it though. Instead of feeling sad I am tickled that as a boy he still calls which everyone said boys don't do. He has grown and matured and when he does get to visit oh how wonderful. Wiping tears from my eyes for you,promise to pray for you in your giving of your child.

  9. I feel for your grief and loss. I wonder the same things of my parents, what to they think of me. They are alive and I can get them to say. :)

  10. I shed tears this morning as I read your post: for your mama's story, for your own feelings, but especially for the heritage in your family of serving God, no matter where it takes you/them.

  11. I felt that same concoction of feelings when Rob's family left and again, now, with Steph and family; proud, sad, excited, fearful - mostly proud and excited to hear reports. My heart goes out to you, Sis.

  12. Yes, how often our children put us in the place where we are full of mixed up emotions. What a legacy you have!

  13. Oh Elizabeth,
    Praying God warms you in the comfort of His Loving Arms and He Grace be sufficient! You will remain very close in prayer!! :) Sharon


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